School Shenanigans Gifts

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"It was a professional hit..."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

Man riding a fish

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"

Learner driver conned into being a getaway driver

'Sure, we have an excuse. The school bus backed into the Principals car.'

Practical Joke in the Classroom.

'Love-rat Kyle's dumped me for a slapper from Year 2.'

Boy shouting at and frightening an old lady

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"My strength is the strength of ten because I'm fourteen."

"Mind if I borrow your pencil?"

"Stealing office supplies, eh? I'm in for murder one!"