Teenage Shenanigans Gifts

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Grownups are stupid! How can you be good and have fun?'

"So what's your definition of 'love'?"

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"It was a professional hit..."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

'What...you just sold your little sister?!'

'It's making me happy.'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'Mom! Make him stop! -- he's trying to sell my dolls on eBay!'

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

Our poor daughter doesn't have a prom date. Mo-om! I'm going with a group, of friends. No one "dates." Then I don't need a shotgun? Da-ad! I'll never get a boyfriend! Good. I heard that.

Relax, she's a teen – of course she acts like we don't exist.

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

"Have you noticed a change in Sophie since she turned 14?"

"So let me get this straight...the equality movement has basically doubled the number of crazy high school kids who secretly decorate cars in the middle of the night?"

"I never noticed how much you guys look alike! Que chulos!"

'Hot! Hot!'

Family hotel with sign reading 'Teenagers welcome (half bored/full bored)'.

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

"So dude, tell me...what happened? Did you ask Estella out? Did she say 'yes'? Are you guys hooked up?"

'I know she hasn't turned out well but there's no sense in us BOTH feeling guilty about it.'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

'And now it's time for all-skate. Well, except for Sam.'

'I must be slipping in my old age. Yesterday I completely forgot to annoy my parents.'

"For some reason, people drink a lot less since I brought my twin brother into the business."