Schoolyard Shenanigans Gifts

"It was a professional hit..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

The Charge of the Kids

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

Shadow

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

And there goes the school window...

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

'Pillow fight!'

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

'The exams were under water, below c!'

"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

'She's a gifted child.'

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

'I want you to listen to me... I'm gonna say it just one time... I... did... not pull that Patty Willston's hair... it never happened!'

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

Practical Joke in the Classroom.

'Love-rat Kyle's dumped me for a slapper from Year 2.'

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

"My strength is the strength of ten because I'm fourteen."