Schoolyard Shenanigans Gifts

"It was a professional hit..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

The Charge of the Kids

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

'For show and tell today I've brought in the report cards of our teacher, which I downloaded!'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

Shadow

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

The Children's Crusade - 'You give the boys cooties, we'll give the girls cooties - we're back in a week.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

Upon returning to school, none of the boys could help but notice how much Allison had developed over summer vacation.

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

And there goes the school window...

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

"Don't be fooled. He isn't a prince and he isn't you pal!"

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

'Pillow fight!'

"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

'The exams were under water, below c!'

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"They're fake, when I get to school I'm telling everyone that I have evolved."

'I keep getting leadership mixed up with incitement.'

'She's a gifted child.'

'Oh, heavens no. I was merely speaking figuratively when I said that I wanted to break every bone in his body.'

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

'I want you to listen to me... I'm gonna say it just one time... I... did... not pull that Patty Willston's hair... it never happened!'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit, like give you money?"

'No Billy! I am not ready to see you yet!'

Practical Joke in the Classroom.

'Love-rat Kyle's dumped me for a slapper from Year 2.'

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'