School Antics Admirer Gifts

"Before I read my 'What I did over the weekend' report, I'd like you to sign this agreement granting me full immunity from any acts I may have allegedly committed."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Cow Blue Arrows

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

Santa does a keg stand.

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

'Can I have flies with that'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"Clearly I didn't think this through."

"Barney! Get down!"

'Pull...'

The Karate Kitten.

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

Bear Juggling Penguins.

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

Moon Pies.

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

"I'd like to drop about 1000 pounds of 'objective evaluation' on his head."

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

"Hibernation sounds old fashioned. Now we call it binge sleeping."

'That's it, Henderson - I'm through playing 'Cat and Mouse' with you!'

Pets christmas tree

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

"...The cat tried all the tricks in the book to catch the mouse!"

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.