University Antics Admirer Gifts

Santa does a keg stand.

'Hmph. College kids.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"He worked his way up from the mail room...from licking stamps to kissing butt."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

"Gotta admit, the new guy's more fun than Ted was."

'Does this mean no more company car?'

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

Undergraduate talking to college porter

Medical School. Dean's Office. You were flunking out. Did your midterm exams improve the outlook? I don't know what the prognosis is. They said my test results were inconclusive.

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

Paul Revere circa 3rd grade.

"Le service recherche et developpment de notre banque."

"Let's see. ... We'll take Death."

Police Training School.

Charles W Eliot

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

Man is literary plastered.

Photo Opportunity

"Before I read my 'What I did over the weekend' report, I'd like you to sign this agreement granting me full immunity from any acts I may have allegedly committed."

"No one else in my family got out of the garden, much less made it to college."

What Happens in the Cal-Bunker

"I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.'"

Practical Joke in the Classroom.

'Love-rat Kyle's dumped me for a slapper from Year 2.'