School Antics Lover Gifts

'Stop whispering and passing notes at the back of the class! James - see me at the end of this staff meeting.'

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

High school sophomore Kyle Rimnard tests his theory that cafeteria meatloaf cures acne.

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'I know it hasn't any wheels...They're still in the pencil.