Coastal Comedy Crowd Gifts

Tsunami Selfie

Brighton Bersagliere.

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

'I think its being tapped.'

Scene on the English coast.

Death Takes A Time-Share

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

'I think your pot has roasted.'

'You mean as opposed to a rural gnome?'

Meet the Plagiarist

I'm not just being paranoid, Margret. His breath smells like dolphin and I even found a flipper in his coat pocket yesterday. I really think Earl's hitting the bottlenose again.

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

'Mummy-do you believe in cod?'

'Old fart and the sea'

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

"OY! You trying to nick my chips?"

World's sma.... llest beach

"Wow, cool fangs! Are you a vampire too?"

'The gannets are worse than the gulls!'

"Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed..."

'I wanted a burial service, he wanted cremation, so I decided to compromise and have him clambaked.'

Lady has a cask of sea water sent back from the seaside

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

New Season's Bathing Machines

"I think we need to have that talk to explain how bad stuff happens in the world."

'The day after labor day at 8 AM, is good for me, is it good for you?'

'It comes in handy at high tide'

'Inland revenue? Your letter doesn't apply to me, I live on the coast!'

'Now remember, smile and try and wiggle 'em.' - The discarded box is labelled Falsies.

'How long have you been a life-guard Mister?'

'Look at those waves.'

"So, what do you do for a crust?"

'How about this one . . . untangling holidaymakers from deckchairs?'