Clinical Staff Gifts

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Multi-tasking.

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

In and Out Tray

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Happy Birthday to you.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

Busy office.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.