Dental Staff Gifts

Dentist with a corkscrew.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The tooth fairy.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Multi-tasking.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'