Dental Professional Gifts

'You'll bite the bullet, get kicked in the teeth, and be asked to grin and bear it...but dental is included.'

"Good news. You've been identified by your dental records."

Tooth Fairy Command Center. How do you like being on the San Diego beat?

'Instead of hunting tonight, lets call our insurance agent, say we want to add dental coverage, and eat him when he arrives?'

"The dental procedure will cost a couple of thousand. But keep in mind we do include a free toothbrush."

'Dr. Vitsky, D.D.S. ... Yes, here you are. Go right on ahead through those pearly whites up there.'

'She works with carnivorous plants.'

"I wasn't able to get membership in the IPA...so I joined the IGA!"

"Frankly, our dental plan bites."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

Barristers

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'