Medical Office Staff Gifts

"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

'All this cutting edge diagnostic imaging equipment and we still can't see through all of these new ACA requirements!'

"I already saw this one. Can I reschedule to be here when the next issue comes out?"

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

'The doctor will see you shortly. He has a few hundred email jokes he has to forward.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

Dancing Doctor

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Happy Birthday to you.

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'