Health Department Staff Gifts

TRUST: "Are you telling me that none of you knows what it means?"

Now wash your gogs

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Happy Birthday to you.

Coronavirus Waves

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He just said his first word!"

Covid Variants

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Vaccine Spring

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'