Medical Office Staff Pillows

"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

'All this cutting edge diagnostic imaging equipment and we still can't see through all of these new ACA requirements!'

"I already saw this one. Can I reschedule to be here when the next issue comes out?"

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

'The doctor will see you shortly. He has a few hundred email jokes he has to forward.'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Happy Birthday to you.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"This will be a tricky operation."

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'