Medical Office Admin Pillows

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Disease Management

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

Virtual Doctor

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

Obama Healthcare.

This is not the time to be restructuring the NHS in the middle of a pandemic Mr. Hancock!

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"They don't pull their punches here, do they."

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

Coronavirus Global Alert

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'