Office Staff Gifts

'Go thru the files and get rid of everything that's over ten years old...but make copies!'

"I told you when you moved into Dr. Condee's office that his bookshelves were due to collapse any day."

'I'm going to make this short...'

The copier is making a whining noise.

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

"I heard this new H.R. lady had some unusual training methods..."

With absolutely no warning, Phil crossed the fine line separating business from pleasure and was never heard from again.

Sometimes I feel the company would collapse if we weren't here.

'The printer repair guy.'

'You're the new cleaner, aren't you?.'

"If you have any complaints about the way your business is handled please make sure Gerald here is informed so that he can ignore them."

We achieve more if we pull together!

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

'Sir, the Christmas party is well prepared. We've got champagne, wine, beer, food and five canister of carpet cleaner.'

Boss catches employee sleeping his way to the top.

'Wait a second...yes, I do remember that memo. I distinctly remember ignoring it.'

"Should I rationalize or backpedal?"

"The buck stops next door"

"The office staff hired him to try to cheer me up. It's the day they get their annual bonuses."

"Management is all about delegation. Here is my job description, get on with it!"

"Well I've only got next Tuesday at 4.30!"

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'He hired you! Tough luck.'

'You are devious and deceitful.' - 'Thanks very much.'

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Cleaner at Think Tank sweeps up thought bubbles at the end of the day.

"The top two drawers are for insurance purposes, the next two are accounts payable, and we let a homeless man named Lenny sleep in the bottom drawer at night.'"

"The office staff hired him to cheer me up. It's the day they get their annual bonuses."

'Botox.'

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"As a tribute to your outstanding career, we're retiring your assigned parking space."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'