Office Workers Gifts

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

"I wish I had a salary that disgusted people."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'Where would we be without the right documentation?'

Jerkins and I worked it out. He can have the office with the window.'

'I can't believe you'd accuse us of age discrimination. At your age, you ought to know better.'

"On the other hand, he never takes a sick day."

"In order to save time and money on coffee and bathroom breaks, I've streamlined the process..."

'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!'

Worker sees clock which says: In case of impossible deadline, break glass.

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

'They appear to be adapting well in their new habitat.'

'And that concludes our sensitivity training, any questions? Yes? That fat, big-nosed gentleman in the back?'

'It says here you like to push the envelope.'

Imitate me, formerly 'Think'.

"Let's take an excruciatingly awkward two minutes for people to trickle in."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'What's it going to be, Dawkins?career or family?'

'I need Flag Day off.'

"I don't get all the hype about treadmill desks."

Sometimes Colin found it difficult to get back into the office routine.

'Maybe it's just me, but I can't shake the feeling we're being used as pawns.'

Dress down day was YESTERDAY - As a teleworker Colin sometimes had difficulty adjusting to the normal office routine.

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

'The boss finally noticed me today. He said I should wear deodrant.'

Hour Glass

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

Idiot's Guide to Management and Management's Guide to Idiots.

Express Elevator.