Office Employee Gifts

"I don't know how it started, either. All I know is that it's part of our corporate culture."

'I have your file right here in front of me, Mr Simonson.'

'We found the donut to be more of an incentive for him.'

'Boswell, it's been brought to my attention that your hidden agenda is in direct conflict with my hidden agenda.'

Happiness is just around the corner...work harder, earn more money, buy more things...

The Team

'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'

'Keep practicing, Johnson. You have to learn to jump through all of them at the same time.'

"Sorry I'm late. I got caught up at home being happy."

'No matter how toxic the corporate culture gets in his department, Bill can always be counted on to suit up and show up!'

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

'This is no time to be thinking about ourselves, Mathews. So, I'll see you at the meeting on Monday?'

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

"Thank heavens! Some work."

'As part of the company's spirit of openness, I've decided to tell you all a little about the real me.'

"The goal isn't the exit – it's the corner office."

"Now that the crisis is over, we can go back to our usual inefficiencies."

'I think you'll find these stress management techniques very effective!'

"Not now, Gibson, I'm being imperious"

'I see old Kendrew got promoted.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"Ok, everybody set for that Zoom call?"

'We're encouraged to be individuals here - look, there's a menu of three personality types to choose from.'

'I didn't get the salary increase, but I've been moved one parking space closer to the entrance.'

'The home E-commerce business is doing well, but he misses his little friends at the office.'

"Meetings are where I've learned to communicate with my coworkers via facial expressions only."

'But, dear, the company requires it from employees who work from home.'

"I see you brought your work home again."

"I don't care what he's got to say... I'm sure he's in the wrong cartoon."

Sawing a job out from under him.

'Before our board meeting, let us pray beneath the fabled 'Contract of Inspiration''.

'I must say Cringley in these days of whizz kids it's refreshing to find a good old fashioned groveller....'

"Our staff seem to need a larger than average 'stress ball'!"

'I don't care how successful it was, try anything innovative again and you are fired.'

'Geez, what's it's been, Gary? Six months?'