Climbing Comedy Gifts

The ascent was long, hard and full of privation and Bob almost made it to the top of the mountain...

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"Who's next?"

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

'I just know baby is getting as much out of this world trip as we are.'

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

The walking dead

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

"Because we're jerks."

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

Learning Theory Therapy: Cue/Drive/Response/Reinforcement.

"I want you to treat this for what it is, Miss Garlands, a dirty weekend and not a step up the promotion ladder!"

There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

Border Guard

'Tell you what, if you show us how to switch channels, you can join our club.'

'Look, a pair of mountaineers: Looks like they're really struggling on the easy cliff-face...'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

Road Safety

As the hiking party neared the summit, Nathan suddenly realised that he didn't have a head for heights'

Climbing Mount Rushmore

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Just think, George, we'll soon be the first people ever to set foot on this summit...'

A proctologist by nature, Bob liked to spend his weekends out in nature.

Golf Guru

"I say IT'S HARD TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WHEN IT"S SO WINDY!"

'Never mind your trousers ripping, keep going!'

Mountain rescue: two men carry a mountain on a stretcher.

"Which trail has the best cell-phone reception?"

Boot Camp

"Isn't this view amazing."

Eric wanted to be even HIGHER than Mt.Everest...