Comedy Climbers Gifts

'Just think, George, we'll soon be the first people ever to set foot on this summit...'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'He's maturing early.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Do kids eat free?"

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Hypnotoon

"Is this fake noodle." "Yes, impasta."

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

Gangsta wrap.

A clown has a revelation at the shrink 'And then one day it dawned on me Doc... we're just not funny!'

That's weird - every time I call the self-help hotline, it goes straight to my voicemail.

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

Myrtle and Moby never miss the annual RV migration.

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

Tour guide: 'And there's where we'll be setting up camp folks. Just at the base of that foothill.'

"No, I'm a transplant."