Clever Gifters Pillows

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Bagel problems.

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

Acme Coffee Co.

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

Last-Minute Gifts

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

"Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse."

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

"Happy birthday!"

'No, I won't pay $200 for a silk top hat for your snowman!'

'Sure, I'll buy a watch. You take plastic?'