Clever Gifters Gifts

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

Rent-a-Drama: "How many tweens will you need for your event?"

Bagel problems.

Sorry about the odor --- Phone booths have gone out of style so I had to change in a dumpster.

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'

An Anarchist's Christmas

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

Acme Coffee Co.

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

Last-Minute Gifts

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Hand Sanitiser in the Middle of the Ocean

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"

Why T-Rex Did Not Go Noodling

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

'. . . we should never have asked mummy what she really wanted for mother's day.'

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."

"Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse."

"Happy birthday!"

"Well? Try them out!"

Extra wheelie bin for cats.

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

'No, I won't pay $200 for a silk top hat for your snowman!'