Creative Gifter Pillows

Last-Minute Gifts

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

Bagel problems.

"Gold ... Frankincense ... Myrrh ... why wouldn't wise men bring diapers?"

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'Honey, I really think last year's very generous Christmas gift absolves me from saying hi each time he delivers the mail.'

"I'm not sure. Maybe it's my wife's butt size I'm thinking of!"

He sold appliances.

'I thought you said you did ships in bottles.'

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

'No, I won't pay $200 for a silk top hat for your snowman!'

"Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse."

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

Cocktails for dogs

Two Christmas Stockings - One for Presents, One for Receipts

'Look - why don't I just check out your website, and email a list of stuff I want!'

santa claus megaphone.

Some online retailers are offering to exchange any gift after Christmas. We don't need to match that to keep market share. Our business model is entirely different that theirs. Meanwhile, at the mall. Halloween has come and gone ... Thanksgiving went too soon ... so now I hum a Christmas tune ... that's played in stores since June!

"I'll be annoyed if you spend too much on much Christmas present!!"

Artists Christmas Party

"The shredder took care of the documents, but not my whistle-blower accountant."

Father Christmases Hand Over the New World Crisis

"Fetch!"

Horse with fast-food nose bag.

'What do you mean 'can I include receipts with all the gifts for easy return?' '

'You named a star after me as a birthday present? I did the same for you. It's called 'The cheapskate who buys lousy gifts'.'

"A new saucepan! Why, how thoughtless of you, dear."

'Since we're already here, why don't we save a lot of time, and just buy some gift cards...'