Creative Gifting Pillows

'I'm giving mostly gift certificates this year, so I wrap them with junk from the garage to throw people off track.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

The wife whisperer.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

'It must be good chocolate for six bucks a box.'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

CEO.

This Halloween, use props to create a unique jack-o-lanern. Fitness buffs might like a jumping jack. Or you could carve a lumberjack. In colder climates, Jack Frost might be a nice choice. And for something functional, build a jack!

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Tipping Pain Chart

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

You just keep giving.

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Bagel problems.

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

Solitaire card shark.

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'Wait until you see what you got me!'