Gifting Pillows

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'What? No flowers? No chocolates? Don't you have a heart?'

"Relax, Ms. Jones. I'm just X-raying this gift from my brother-in-law to see if I should re-gift it."

"They're in the gifted program."

"Just a card and a box of chocolates would have been fine, dear!"

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Eh, Merry Xmas!"

One man's trash is another's treasure

'Whatever's the most durable. This is the fifth year it's been regifted.'

Merry Old Santa Claus

"It's all part of the new normal."

'Are you trying to tell me you spent five and a half million on gifts?'

Please leave something easy to assemble.

I THINK when OXFAM suggested you buy a goat for Xmas...They meant for the third world!

'If you're thinking of getting me any of those gifts...'

'This year, giving holiday gifts may be problematic. I want to regift, but I don't remember who gave me what gift.'

"Let's do a deal: we'll believe in you again, and you'll extend our parents credit card limit."

'What do you give a man who has everything?'

'...We give this same tie to dad every year.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

'They saw you coming.'

He says he wants to see you about a friendly takeover.

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

"It is not a man purse, OK?"

Childcrap

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

'I've made a list of Christmas presents you can surprise me with this year.'

A feminist Christmas.

CEO.

"Oh honey, a chum necklace! How thoughtful!"

'And that,and that,and that...'

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"