Gifting T-Shirts

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

"I'm going to need to make multiple stops."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

'What? No flowers? No chocolates? Don't you have a heart?'

"Relax, Ms. Jones. I'm just X-raying this gift from my brother-in-law to see if I should re-gift it."

"They're in the gifted program."

"Just a card and a box of chocolates would have been fine, dear!"

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Eh, Merry Xmas!"

'Whatever's the most durable. This is the fifth year it's been regifted.'

One man's trash is another's treasure

'Are you trying to tell me you spent five and a half million on gifts?'

"Let's do a deal: we'll believe in you again, and you'll extend our parents credit card limit."

Merry Old Santa Claus

'This year, giving holiday gifts may be problematic. I want to regift, but I don't remember who gave me what gift.'

'If you're thinking of getting me any of those gifts...'

Please leave something easy to assemble.

He says he wants to see you about a friendly takeover.

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'They saw you coming.'

'What do you give a man who has everything?'

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

'It was a strange Christmas this year - Everybody gave me breath mints.'

"Ohhh. . . I hope I got an empty box."

Childcrap

Seasonal shopping.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

A feminist Christmas.

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'

'Something very inexpensive - There's a whisper they'll start divorce proceedings immediately after the anniversary party.'

Santa spots stocking hanging up outside mousehole.

"I suppose you could give me bigger meals."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

'And that,and that,and that...'