Gifts T-Shirts

Christmas Puppy Bow

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

"My therapist says I should try to live in the present!"

Happy Birthday

'Great, another pearl for our anniversary. How about a diamond for once.'

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'Congratulations on your retirement. You can have this back now.'

'Say it with Timber'

Cats and Gift Bags

'They were all out of roses.'

'If Santa lives at the North Pole, how come all his elves live in China?'

"He'll expect something nice. I'm his best friend."

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Still have the receipt do you?"

The gift of x-ray vision wasn't what Desmond had hoped for.

Christmas Presents.

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

"When I retired they gave me a gold watch. It stopped working when I did."

And then, exactly one month later, re-gifting was invented.

"Thanks, guys! This is great! Room for my photos and credit car - Whoa! Hold on! This thing's genuine cowhide!"

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

"He promise me the Earth - then got an allotment off the Council."

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'I'll say this about your mother - she is easy to buy for.'

Useless gifts for elephants.

'My very own lawyer!... You shouldn't have!'

It's the ghost of Christmas present.

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

Cutes Gifts N' Stuff.

How the gift registry should really work

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Mavis hated how Arthur always bought 'practical' birthday presents"

Holiday Misses

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."