Gifts Mugs

Christmas Puppy Bow

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

Happy Birthday

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

"My therapist says I should try to live in the present!"

'Great, another pearl for our anniversary. How about a diamond for once.'

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'Congratulations on your retirement. You can have this back now.'

'Say it with Timber'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'They were all out of roses.'

'If Santa lives at the North Pole, how come all his elves live in China?'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"He'll expect something nice. I'm his best friend."

Cats and Gift Bags

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

And then, exactly one month later, re-gifting was invented.

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

How the gift registry should really work

Holiday Misses

Christmas Presents.

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'My very own lawyer!... You shouldn't have!'

"Thanks, guys! This is great! Room for my photos and credit car - Whoa! Hold on! This thing's genuine cowhide!"

'I'll say this about your mother - she is easy to buy for.'

"When I retired they gave me a gold watch. It stopped working when I did."

'I hope you like it -- it's a stimulus package.'

"He promise me the Earth - then got an allotment off the Council."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Cutes Gifts N' Stuff.

The gift of x-ray vision wasn't what Desmond had hoped for.

Still have the receipt do you?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Mavis hated how Arthur always bought 'practical' birthday presents"

Useless gifts for elephants.