Clever Debaters Gifts

"But Miss, Thursday can come before Wednesday - look in any dictionary!"

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

Changing Minds

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Science Snobs

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

Prisoner speech

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

The controversy of ROW VS WAIT: 'Row, to find fish!'

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

Our staff are very pleased, she's one of the brightest in her class. (What do you expect? I'm a genius!) I don't know where she gets it from...

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

You! Are thick magazine.

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

Two hearts arguing.

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Brain vs heart

"Why not use thoughts and prayers to stop abortions? That's what you've been using to stop school shootings."

'So you're the boy who wants to be a chugger.'

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'