Intellectual Debaters Gifts

''Creationism'? †Those little twerps are always trying to shift the blame!'

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Changing Minds

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Science Snobs

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"Let's just drop it, Andrew, and leave it to future historians to decide which of us was right."

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

'I inherited therefore I am'

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

Wisconsin's War on Unions!

"This is where petrophysics leaves off, and petrochemistry steps in."

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

"Doctor, your speech was certainly unabridged."

Mind Narrows road sign.

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

No Pontificating in the Bean Bag Chair

No atheists in Heaven.

You! Are thick magazine.

"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."

"But Miss, Thursday can come before Wednesday - look in any dictionary!"

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'