Classic Comedy Gifts

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

Moe-hawk.

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Peter Cook

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Gladstone Gives Disraeli a Bloody Nose over Schleswig-Holstein

Moon Line UP

Dante Alighieri

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

My mind is like a steel trap, it's just a bit rusty.

"Condense this down to a series of memes and we'll take another look at it."

Tessa

Buster Keaton

Concerto for Two Horns

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

The Wi-Fi of Bath.

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

Notary

'He broke his wrist trying to open his medicine.'

Laurel & Hardy