Classic Comedy Lovers Gifts

Road Safety

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

Eskimo, Eskilarry, Eskicurly

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Moon Line UP

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

Dante Alighieri

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

Tessa

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

"Congratulations, you've passed."

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

"Take my wife...please!"

'Over a hundred channels and nothing to watch!'