Classic Comedy Lovers Gifts

Road Safety

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

Larry. HMO. Curly.

Eskimo, Eskilarry, Eskicurly

By any chance, woukd Dr. Smith's nickname be 'Curly'?

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Moon Line UP

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

"'You're the reason I crossed the road'? Really?! Is that your best pick-up line?"

Dante Alighieri

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

'We've been trying to ease out Old Stoney as Payroll Coordinator.'

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

W.C.Fields

"Miss, you said that a single rabbit could reproduce a hundred times a year? What about a married rabbit?"

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

'We'll return to the evening news right after this message from the Three Stooges....'

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"Caw blimey Missus"-"He's a Carry-On Crow"

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

Tessa

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

"Congratulations, you've passed."

Buster Keaton

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"