Classic Comedy Fans Gifts

"For what it's worth, 'Yo-ho-ho and chilled Pinot Grigio' actually rhymes."

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"That'll be five bucks."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Primitive magician

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Standard & Poor

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Yakety-Yak

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'The penguin is upset...'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'