City Storyteller Gifts

A man hoping that Temple bar will not be pulled down as it is the only barrier between him and the horrid City.

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

Airplane food

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"A homeless person ate my homework."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"