Community Storyteller Gifts

'Hey, man! I was raised by a whole village, and I turned out okay!'

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'...and now the weather.'

Support your local bookstore

"Doris is ill today, so I'll be manning the News Desk."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Children's Party

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Start with a Spanish doubloon. Those are always good."