Parish Storyteller Gifts

Vicar's wife to vicar - "And if you can't be good, be careful!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

The Family Joules: Part 21

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Children's Party

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."