Saintly Storytellers Gifts

The Ascension of the Rose of Lima

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"You think it's tough down there?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Dad. I have a stow-a-way to report!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

"King Herod sent us."

'You should have thought about your allergies before you built the ark.'

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"Sorry, this is in Hebrew, and I only read Hieroglyphics!"

"Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

'...And remember, tune in next week at this same time for the exciting conclusion of 'David and Bathsheba.'!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Ark under giant brolly.

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'