Chromosome Comedian Gifts

Genetic Research Institute - "Darling we were made for each other."

Albert Einstein

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Optimist

Hardware and software

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Catch this!'

"One group gets tiny copies of the 'Times,' the other gets tiny copies of the 'Post.'"

Jerk Gene

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

Working On Silly String Theory.

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

You heard right - one large cheese pizza, and tell the driver to take it out of the box and leave it in the yard,

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

How DNA molecules combine.

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'The stand-up geneticist'

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

Jim's Smart Kettle

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

'Well it's obvious when we went through mitosis, the brain went to my side!'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.