Chromosome Comedian Pillows

Genetic Research Institute - "Darling we were made for each other."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

Optimist

Hardware and software

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Catch this!'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"One group gets tiny copies of the 'Times,' the other gets tiny copies of the 'Post.'"

Jerk Gene

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

Tech Corp: Personnel Openings - We've reached our quota of nerds, but we are looking to hire geeks.

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'It's not worth worrying about. There's nothing you can do about it. No two quarks in a small region can occupy the same quantum-mechanical state.'

"Aha! - Proof that this is definitely an iron-age site..."

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

Jim's Smart Kettle

'The stand-up geneticist'

'Well it's obvious when we went through mitosis, the brain went to my side!'

'Granted we have to do the research. And we can do some research on the research. but I don't think we should get involved in research on research on research.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.