Genetics Humorist Pillows

"Let's face it, Henshaw, we were not cut out to be genetic engineers."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

How Glaciations Begin

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Evolving/Devolving

Evolution...the wifi rhino.