Evolutionary Humorist Pillows

"That's my Son, Denny - He evolved into a doctor."

Evolution of the Cow

'Sure, the thumbs are great -- but how come we don't have opposable toes?'

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Working On Silly String Theory.

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

The Joshua Tree

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'