Biological Humorist Pillows

'My student had the hiccups...'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?"

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Try me/try me/try me...

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Hats and Food

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Get out of my face!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"