Biology Humorist Pillows

'You must have a lot of recessive genes.'

"Wow! Imagine me taking biology and being the class cut up!"

'Uhhh...bifurcate you?'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

The new Physics

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

Evolution...the dandy lion.

Evolving/Devolving

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'