Biology Humorist Gifts

'You must have a lot of recessive genes.'

"Wow! Imagine me taking biology and being the class cut up!"

'Uhhh...bifurcate you?'

Albert Einstein

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

Table Of The Elephants