Zoology Humorist Gifts

"It means nothing Brenda"

City Zoo: Day Care

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Deer Season Open.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Too much concealer?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

Try me/try me/try me...

'Jurassic Pork.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"Yes, one is a dog."

Turtle Hat

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.