Zoology Humorist Gifts

"It means nothing Brenda"

City Zoo: Day Care

The Solar System (after deregulation)

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'Jurassic Pork.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'That's one hell of a cat-flap Harry. You must have a big cat, heh, heh.'

Try me/try me/try me...

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Turtle Hat

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

She loves to play with string theory.