Marine Biologist Humorist Gifts

A hammerhead shark gets an eye test.

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

"Don't put me back! I'm trying to evolve legs here!"

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Turtle Hat

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

Guide fish.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Did you find our menorah?

Walking the Plank.

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man painting MOM on boat

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'Little is known about these amazing creatures, as there have only been a few live sightings, by giant squid scientists. Despite previous beliefs, they are actually a land animal, as the fins and respiratory system are removable.'

Shark Chum

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'We're drifting apart.'

Fish Farm.

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'I got one this small.'