Geology Humorist Gifts

Old Geezers Erupting Every Hour on the Hour.

Old Faithful and Old Unfaithful

"No, quartz! Man, I hate it when people take me for granite."

Albert Einstein

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

She loves to play with string theory.

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

How Glaciations Begin

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

The new Physics

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'Who says you're not genetically manipulated?'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

Table Of The Elephants

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Complex equation results in the conclusion that cats are better than dogs.