Geological Jokester Gifts

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Not now, Oliver."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

Cosmonaughty

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

'I told you: The way down is faster.'

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

"Ah - The 'Big Gang' theory."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'