Geometry Jokester Gifts

"You're Pentagon? That's a five sided square, isn't it?

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

"Not now, Oliver."

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

Cosmonaughty

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

A fisherman reacts as he sees a drone flying over the lake with a fishing line into the water below.

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Megacorp Pictures Advertising Dept. We need a catchy phrase to promote this new earthquake movie. "Look out for that runaway terrain."

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'