Geometric Humorist Gifts

"Nothing to worry about . . . just a sprained angle."

Dog squared equals...

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Electric Blanket.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"That's a meteor. If it hits the ground its a meteorite."

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We've concluded that an alarming percentage of the population are experiencing involuntary eye-rolling at the word 'inclusion'."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'Oh-oh, they're looking up at me ? I think they're on to us!'

The geometry of everyday life