Biological Humor Aficionado Gifts

'I always try to get him to come out and have a drink with me, but noooo...it's always the same excuse about how male mosquitoes don't suck blood. Whatever. I'm over it.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

The Food Chain

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Penguin

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

The life of penguins.

'Galileo, I said a right at the corner and then a left.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

It's an experiment.

'I don't KNOW what I'm doing -- this is pure research!'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

Another Screw-up at the Genetics lab. FLASH! What idiot thought of putting a firefly gene in an elephant?!

'Yes Ma'am, we're from the Governement: We need samples for scientific testing...'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.